can't taste the love

I've never been so frustrated with cooking.

After harvesting a huge basket full of rhubarb, cutting off the leaves and spreading them around the base of fruit trees, I joyfully carried the load the kitchen. Living in a community of 20 people that hosts groups and individuals regularly, I knew this rhubarb would be made into a delicious crumble or some other tasty dessert.

After over 45 minutes of chopping, I finally got all the rhubarb into a pot to stew. To make things cook faster, I put the stove on fairly high but of course, getting distracted by talking to the people who were around, that burnt the bottom. And - living in community you're never alone in a public space - someone came in and commented on the burning, which immediately made me react. But let me back up.

I've been doing a lot of work around our property, unpaid work, specifically, and frankly, I was feeling unappreciated for it. Most people in my community contribute a fair bit even if they're working full time but a few people seem to take it all for granted - they come home from work, eat a meal they didn't create, help with the dishes maybe once a week and then carry on. And I'd been getting annoyed with how we all pay the same rent.

So when this person commented (twice) about my burnt rhubarb, I got angry about all of this. Of course I've been learning about and growing in servanthood for years and years but I'm pretty peeved at God these days too.

So there you go. The most frustrated batch of stewed rhubarb. Hopefully it doesn't taste burnt.