search for a kiwi

Searching for a kiwi - even on an island where they are fairly common - felt like an exercise in futility. Reading the log book in the hut gave us an idea of where others had recently spotted one and therefore was the best place to try. Of course, "by the beach" was only so helpful when there were three ways to get to the beach!

Every night, we would put on our rain pants and rain jacket, strap on our red light head torch and take a slow walk through the bush. At first the anticipation was fun, but the sense of adventure wore off as we walked more and more in the rain and still didn't hear or see a kiwi.

Trying to find God again feels much the same. I know God is there, just as I knew kiwis existed on the island. The only problems were that we didn't know where exactly the kiwis were, if they would come out and if we would be in the "right place at the right time."

I was getting frustrated by how God seemed illusive and how it felt like I was wasting my time trying to experience him again. I wanted to give up the search and accept that I would live my life as an agnostic, knowing he exists but not knowing what to do about that.

On our fourth and final night in the bush, we were walking back to the hut when we heard the distinctive call of a male kiwi. After a short wait, we heard a loud shuffle in the bush and out popped a kiwi! Call me naive, but I'm accepting it was a promise from God that he can and will be found.

NB: the footprint in the photo may or may not be that of a kiwi