the opposite of hospitable

[I offer this from my journal from September 20 in reflection of Matthew 25. I had been staying at a marae - Maori community hall - with my students and co-workers on a field trip to the Wellington region. In maraes, people sleep all together in the meeting room on mattresses.]

I'm recognizing my humanity today and am grateful to be back in community so that these issues come up for me to deal with and (hopefully) grow in grace. A group of 20 kids and 4 teachers showed up yesterday because the marae and their school had some sort of mix up where the marae had it written down that they were coming today after our group leaves. My gut reaction to the situation was that of possessiveness: we were on the marae's posted schedule and therefore we had the right to stay here, not them. When talk quickly turned to them staying with us, my mind went to mistrust and selfishness: what about our security? An added 24 people would mean re-configuring our stuff and space, plus that's a lot of people! And then, when we were all gathered right before eating dinner, our director was asked if the group could stay and I felt manipulated: that she was asked in public and therefore couldn't say no.

And yet, what is the way of Jesus? To share your food with the hungry, to give shelter to the homeless, to welcome the stranger. My life and heart are so far from these values and ways of living. Have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner.

[I'm thankful that the group did stay and we shared conversation and a sleepless night - they were a group of 12 and 13 year-old's, after all.]